A Visit to the Cardiologist

Yesterday morning I awoke at 8 a.m. My first thought was "It's January 9th and I have a cardiology appointment for 8:45. OOPS!" I bolted out of bed and jumped in the shower. I knew I wouldn't have time to dry my hair. I threw on the jeans and sweater I had worn the day before. I took one pill with water and jumped into the cold car and was on my way. There were school buses and I arrived ten minutes late. Thankfully no snide comments were made and I was taken into the room for an EKG. The nurse practioner then came in and asked about my meds. I told her that I was now on Adcirca and actually I thought the PH doctor had contacted him. Wrong. She asked all about that and I told her. She excused herself for a minute (I was told I was only there for a blood pressure check) and returned with the cardiologist I use in NJ. Dr. A. had a lot of questions for me and his immediate response was that he didn't feel I needed such an agressive approach to my PH as it was secondary and not primary. I was kind of taken back. Did it matter? I mean if I have type 2 diabetes instead of type 1 does that matter in the treatment of the disease? No. Yes type 2 is usually controlled by weight loss but still the drugs etc. are the same. I began to explain to him why Dr. Forfia put me on the medicine. I asked him if he had seen my right heart cath report and he said yes but he couldn't remember the numbers off the top of his head. I asked him to bring up the report. I then explained further once he could see my wedge pressure was 20. He deferred to the expert. As I left, I felt a bit strange. It was like I felt I needed to deffend my position. I have a disease and I am diligently seeking treatment with the doctor who is an expert in the field. I consider this cardiologist an excellent doctor and would highly recommend him. It's just that he probably has only seen a few people with this condition and often it's not treated. In a case like mine where the pressure is in the severe category that could be a fatal mistake. Sorry, but I have ONE heart, ONE life. I am going to do what I believe to be the best for me. It doesn't really matter what anyone else says. ONLY I will leave the world, alone, if I have failed to get the proper treatment. I can't stress that enough.
I'm not ready to go. I'm going to fight for every year, day and minute. I'm not done yet. I will not go quietly into the dark night.